Honor your Emerald Isle heritage with traditions that are romantic, clever, and a couple that are downright strange. Uncover here how to fill your wedding with all things Irish save the Blarney Stone.
Harvest Knots
According to history, Irish men declared their intentions of marriage by giving their fiancee harvest knots of straw decorated with flowers or bells to wear in their hair or around their neck. Make a harvest knot to wear on your wedding day, or place one in your bouquet to symbolize your Irish heritage.
Ceilidh
The steps of Irish folkdances are called ceilidh. Treat your attendants to an Irish dancing lesson, and then “perform” a jig to traditional Irish music at the reception.
Lace!
A way to incorporate Celtic pride into your wedding attire (besides hand-beading four leaf clovers all over your gown) is to adorn yourself with beautiful Irish lace. Known for its intricate patterns and zenith quality, wear a veil or carry a handkerchief made of this intricate Irish decoration.
Playin’ o’ the Pipes
Infuse your ceremony with the strains of the Irish pipes. Although bagpipes have Celtic roots, they are traditionally Scottish. For a truly Emerald Isle affair, locate an Irish uillean piper to lead the processional or recessional.
Irish Wedding Feast
The customary wedding feast in Ireland was a potluck hosted at the bride’s family’s home. Each guest brought traditional Irish dishes such as soda bread, coddle, and stew. Even if you’re having a more formal reception, you can still celebrate this Irish tradition by having a “feast” for your bridal shower or rehearsal dinner.
The Wedding Cake
Old custom dictates that the Irish wedding cake (usually a dense fruit cake with white icing) was cut by one of the bride’s sisters or bridesmaids. Where would they cut it? Over her head, of course. The bride remained seated while the groomsmen held the cake over her head while her sister or best friend did the honors. Our only concern: this tradition works best and safest when the cake is NOT a four-tiered confectionary concoction. Eeeek!
Noise Makers
A noisy way to ring in your nuptials with the luck o’ the Irish is to have a recessional like those in Celtic history: instead of throwing rice upon exiting the church, men would fire rifles or other firearms into the air to signal that a couple is wed. Not your traditional exit (most churches would frown upon guns in the parking lot), if the men use blanks in their guns, and if you are getting married in an area without noise ordinances, then fire away, Irish style.
Giving the Claddagh
Two hands holding a heart underneath a crown is the Irish symbol for “Let Love and Friendship Reign”. Share your Irish heritage with your attendants by giving them Celtic-inspired gifts marked with the claddagh. Give your maid of honor a candle gift engraved with the “faith ring”, or jewelry made of claddagh. Buy claddagh wedding rings, or wear the Irish symbol around your neck on your wedding day as a reminder of your heritage.
Tokens of Hair
A more unusual Irish tradition is for the man to give the woman he loves a bracelet woven of human hair. Symbolic of acceptance, when the woman wears the circle of hair, she is linking herself to him for life. There’s no mention of exactly who’s hair it is, however, so if wearing hair jewelry gives you the heevies, see “Harvest Knots” for the same idea, using straw instead.
Lucky Dates
The traditionally superstitious Irish believed that the last day of the year is especially lucky, since the couple would wake up on the first day of their new life on the first day of the new year. Plan your wedding for December 31, the luckiest of Celtic days.
Jackie Duescher provides the customer service for Keepsake Favors as well as inspiration for many of the favor creations on the site. Jackie has a special knack for finding Irish themed favors for weddings other occasions, and she firmly believes that a favor doesn’t have to be expensive to impress your guests.
Biologically, a coupling between male and female (with some very rare exceptions like aphids, mites, and some lizards) is required for procreation, critical for survival of the species. On the other hand, marriage is a human social contract, historically accepted as the optimum means of raising offspring who require years of care before they become independent.
Divine blessing on the union is important to many but marriage in the eyes of religion is totally separate from the civil contract of marriage itself. It is the civil contract which has legal standing for government programs like social security and which can be severed by the courts in divorce proceedings. As a social contract between two individuals, the presumption that one must be male and one must be female is irrelevant.
Marriage is certainly an emotional and legal commitment. Once two individuals make the choice that they will spend the rest of their lives together, society approves the decision, notwithstanding the fact that only half of us will be able to permanently remain in that relationship. It is approved because it is a force for stability and responsibility, both vital if a culture is to thrive.
Most married couples have children; many do not. Child rearing is therefore only one aspect of the state of matrimony, not the sole reason for its existence. So why the outcry against same-sex marriage which brings the same forces of stability and responsibility to society as do heterosexual unions?
I suggest that the widespread movement against gay marriage is not really directed at marital vows at all but is a revolt against homosexuality itself. Rather than supporting gays by letting them receive legal sanction for their relationships, we want to punish them. They have stepped outside the bounds of our experience. They make us feel uncomfortable. We see a young man and a girl kissing on the street and smile. We see two young men kissing and emotionally recoil. Most heterosexuals cannot understand gays and unconsciously think that there is “something wrong” with them. (Until 20 years ago, homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder!) If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, gays are from another galaxy.
Because of our discomfort or, in many cases, disgust, we try to legislate them out of existence. The courts, and the culture at large, will not allow us to get rid of them. All we have left is an ability to relegate them to a less-than-equal status by denying them an important social right: marriage. That denial, codified in 11 states on election night, 2004, revealed a fearful desire to legislate morality and conduct according to a pre-conceived idea of what is right and wrong for everyone regardless of their religious, moral, humanistic, or sexual preferences.
The morality crusade that was Prohibition was possibly the most destructive social experiment ever attempted. Not only did it fail to stop the use of alcohol, but led to the rise of organized crime which still holds sway some 80 years later. We can successfully legislate against behaviors that hurt society — murder, theft, violence and other dangerous acts — because society benefits when its members are safe and protected.
To suggest that the safety of the world can be threatened by two same-sex individuals reciting vows of commitment before a local official is preposterous. The will to legislate against such an act reflects only our idea to withhold, to punish, to declare before all that it is only our values which matter and that we are right, divinely right.
Virginia Bola is a licensed clinical psychologist with deep interests in Social Psychology and politics. She has performed therapeutic services for more than 20 years and has studied the results of cultural forces and employment on the individual. The author of an interactive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker’s Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com
So you’ve been in that perfect relationship for some time now. You’ve been dropping hints about the future and he is receiving you loud and clear. It’s time to do a little “window shopping.” After all, you don’t want to leave one of the most important decisions in your life entirely up to him, do you? He WILL lose sleep over finding that perfect engagement ring, even though he will not admit it. So why not help him out a little, give him some guidance and direction.
There are so many choices when it comes to shopping for engagement rings and you and he will hear a lot of advice from a lot of “helpful” people. His “Uncle Charlie” will know a guy who knows a guy. Your sister will tell you that you have to get your ring where she got hers. Your co-worker will tell you about this really cool website. And on and on, there will be advice around every corner.
Let’s go through some of the available options and identify the pros and cons of each. This should help you both figure out what the best option is for you.
Your Local Jewelry Store:
Definintely a great place to start. A jewelry store will have a small selection of pre-set engagement rings for you to see in person, and try on. If you run into a helpful sales associate that is willing to spend some time with you and explain all of the nuances of buying diamonds, it will be well worth your time.
PROS
Seeing the diamond in person. Nothing beats the feeling of seeing diamonds sparkle on your finger!
Talking to a knowlegable human being and getting answers to questions face to face.
CONS
Limited selection. Most local jewelry stores do not have the financial resources to carry a large inventory of diamonds. However, many stores do work with suppliers who are able to send them goods on memorandum (like consignment) if they have a customer who is looking for a particular diamond.
Price. You will pay more at a jeweler, period. Sure you can try and negotiate and feel like you got a better price, but a jeweler will not sell you that diamond for less than a substantial profit. Most jewelers need to make a “keystone” markup on every item, which is double what they paid for that diamond. This markup covers the high overhead costs of running a store including insurance, rent and sales commissions.
Antique Shops:
If you are looking for a ring that is truly unique, this is the place for you. You’ll need to do some leg work and visit many different stores to see what’s available, but it could be worth it in the long run.
PROS
Most likely to find a one of a kind ring. If you have the need to be an original, stick to your search and you will find that proverbial “diamond in the rough.”
CONS
Unless you get lucky, expect a long search. You may only find a handful, if any rings in the shops you visit.
Most rings will not have any type of certification or appraisal. Unless you know a great deal about diamond grading, it is possible to get taken advatage of very easily.
The Internet
The Holy Grail and the Bottomless Pit of information, all wrapped in one. By far, you will find the largest selection of diamonds and engagement rings here, but that can be quite overwhelming. Start with the basics and work your way through this checklist.
1. Shape - Diamonds are cut into 10 most common shapes, but there are countless other “designer” shapes popping up in the industry on a regular basis. Most of the shapes are self explanatory (round, oval, pear, heart), but do you know what a Marquise or a Radiant looks like? Take a look at the most commonly available diamond shapes and decide what you like best.
2. Size - Bigger is better, right? Not necessarily. Unless your fiance has very deep pockets, you will not be getting a 5 carat boulder to weigh you down. Too many men are convinced that it has to be big. Would you like to have a big ugly rock that is dull and lifeless on your hand, just so you could tell everyone it’s 3 carats, or would you rather have a beautiful, sparkling beacon of light catching all of your friends attention. You won’t have to wave your hand in front of them to notice, they will come to you!
3. The 4 C’s - The most common phrase in the diamond business and the most important when shopping for a diamond online. The 4 C’s represent a diamond’s cut, color, clarity and carat weight. CUT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ASPECT OF A DIAMOND’S FIRE AND BRILLIANCE. So many people buying diamonds focus on color and clarity, that cut is often overlooked. You can spend a fortune buying a flawless clarity and perfect color (white) diamond, yet if it is poorly cut, it will be dull and lifeless.
4. The Mouting Metal - This is basically a matter of personal preference and what looks best on you. Yellow gold is classic and works best for a solitaire engagement ring. Yellow gold is also better for mounting diamonds with a lower color grade (yellowish tint), because the yellow from the diamond blends into the setting. White gold and Platinum give a modern look and work best with three stone rings. Be sure to choose a diamond with a high color grade, otherwise the white moutning will negatively emphasise a yellowish diamond.
5. The Online Engagement Ring Builder - The most fun part of buying a diamond online is being able to build your own ring. Choose a diamond and a setting, then email it to your fiance. Even if he doesn’t buy it online, he will know exactly what style to look for when he goes shopping. No surprises, and everyone is happy!
There are hundreds of diamond and jewelry web sites out there, but my advice is to stick with the leaders in the field. The two major players are Blue Nile and Mondera. On their sites, you can browse thousands of diamonds as well as build your own engagement ring and see how different settings look with different shape diamonds. They both have highly knowlegable and very friendly customer service staff that can answer questions about diamonds and settings, and offer a no risk 100% guarantee and return policy.
You can also browse our site for weekly updates to diamond prices and more in depth diamond education. We also maintain a searchable database of diamonds from leading online jewelers so you can compare similar diamonds from multiple sources.
Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!
For more information, please visit Diamond prices and education.
